It has been a while

Unfinished piece, one of a series, called Fly, Dream
fabric, thread, photography, and ultimately beads as well.

Okay, so about 10 days have gone by and I have not written or posted pictures.  The thing is, I have actually been working and making pieces for a show in May.  So how does one manage the time to create and also write about creating, which should be creating in and of itself?  It's a question I ponder when I can't sleep at night.  The other thing I think about is the fact that I tried to cliff dive during our family vacation to Mexico.  Now let me be specific, it was only about 20 feet high.  I climbed up there all confident, took a breath, ran toward the edge ... and then just stopped head hanging out over the side, with my feet gripping the edge.  Thinking this was just a one-time freeze, I tried again, and again, and again.  I was up there for at least 30 minutes.  Strangers from all over the world were cheering me on to jump.  One wise-ass from England, kept making gasping noises just as I would get to the edge--which I must say did make it more difficult to jump, though I guess I can't really blame him for my lack of courage.  My husband kept telling me to just do it.  Like the Nike ads--you know I don't see any Nike reps jumping off of cliffs!  My kids were yelling at me to just jump so we could get on with what we were doing.  And I swear, I really thought I was going to.  But I didn't.  It was very disappointing.  I try to do something outside my comfort zone every time we go away or try new things, just so I can show my kids that it is healthy to try new things and face your fears.  Well this fear seemed to stare me down and I realized that fear is really quite intangible, but sometimes very, very solid and immovable.  And it is fear that artist feel every time they start a new piece, get stuck in the middle of a piece, or even just finish one.  I have all these pieces that have not been finished, and I am hoping to face those fearsome little pieces and turn them into something I can feel proud of.